Writing this is not easy for me, even years later, however, I feel it's important to share.

October 22, 2016 I lost my little sister to suicide. She was only 21.

I was at a wedding with my other sister when we got the news. Everything about the moment is seared into memory. The warmth of the air. The smell hot dirt at the ranch-style wedding. My father's voice on the other end of the telephone: "Leila has passed away."

I couldn't grasp it.

(If I'm being honest, I'm not even sure I fully grasp it now.)

With those words, in that moment, life changed forever.

The following hours and days are somehow both a blur and clear as day. Somewhere in between my heart longing to block the memory, and my mind not allowing it.

The long car ride home. The shock. The tears. The pit in my stomach (that would stay for years and is now back as I write this). The devastation in my mother's face. My father's words again, this time in between his own cries, telling my sister and I while he held us: "You don't always get do-overs."

It. Annihilated. Us.

Where once stood a vibrant, funny, amazing person was now a black hole, consuming everything in its path. There was confusion, pain, guilt-oh the guilt. Could I have done something different to change this outcome? It was the deepest sadness I have ever known.

I won't go on....but I can say this: it's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. While time has softened the edges of the grief, as I write this with tears welling up, it's clear that the sorrow never truly fades. It lingers in the quiet moments of our busy lives, always present.

I will miss her every day until my time here is done.

The wound will never heal, but it brings me some comfort to work towards preventing such tragedies for others.

That's why I've chosen to support the Crisis Text Line, an incredible organization dedicated to combating suicide. They provide immediate, text-based help to those in crisis, and their work has undoubtedly saved countless lives. They successfully de-escalate someone at imminent risk for suicide or self-harm every 30 minutes.

These yearly contributions are more than donations; they are a stand against the "silent epidemic" of suicide.

Thank you for visiting this page and for reading my story. Please remember, if you make a purchase, part of it will support a deeply important cause.

Keira